How I Learned to Be the Boss I Wished I Had: Lessons in Female Leadership

As a full-time working mom, I dreaded meetings that started at 4:30pm. The key decision maker was always late, and I was often the only woman in the room with small kids to pick up. Meanwhile, the men were casually texting their wives, letting them know they’d be home for dinner.

I’d quietly pack up my bag before the juicy part of the conversation started at 5:10, smile at my boss, whisper, “let’s touch base tomorrow morning.”

I’d race out the door - praying I remembered my laptop. Sure, my performance reviews never dinged me for working hard or missing deadlines. But perception is everything. When promotion time came, I’d hear, “You do great work, but we need to know you’re really committed.”

A few years later, after my second child, I returned from maternity leave to a clean desk. My projects had been quietly handed to a male counterpart - no warning, no consultation. I had two options: stay and adapt, or find a company that actually valued parents and their contributions. I chose the latter. It took time, but I found a workplace that aligned with my values.

That experience taught me a critical lesson: female leadership is complicated.

Society often undervalues working moms and their career contributions. But here’s the thing - you can lead differently. You can be the boss you wish you had. That promise shaped my career, my coaching, and eventually, my book.

Today, I help women leaders navigate the complexities of their careers while staying true to themselves - building confidence, authority, and influence, even in environments that don’t always accommodate them.

Because leadership isn’t about fitting in. It’s about changing the game, owning your impact, and shaping the culture you want to see.

If you’re a female leader ready to own your impact and presence without sacrificing who you are, it’s time to create a leadership style that works for you - not just for the company’s expectations.